I love my birthday. Everyone does. I have always loved having a spring birthday, with one cold, sad exception. Regardless of the calendar, Minnesota skies leaked snow onto my front lawn, freezing birthday glee. It would be appropriate for people such as myself, who live in cities with unpredictable weather patterns, to have a bit of insurance for their birthday celebration. Clearly, someone should open an insurance company that, should something go wrong on their true birthday, allows people the opportunity to celebrate one’s birthday on a day different than their actual birthday.
I’m not talking about an elementary-school kid who has a weekend birthday and has to pass out candy on a Friday or a Monday, here. I’m not talking the kid who has summer birthdays and gets a treat from their teacher on their half-birthday.
Rather, it’d be better to just randomly pick a day and call it a birthday celebration.
But it would be awkward if I just invited people to a fake birthday celebration for myself. Clearly, the solution to this awkwardness: let everyone pretend it’s their birthday and throw a huge birthday party for EVERYONE.
Needless to say, I think this would be a really great party. Those who aren’t clued in about the whole fraudulent birth date aspect of the party would probably say things like, “WOW, that’s amazing that so many people have their birthday on the same day!” Those in attendance would snicker and go back to having fun and living out the dream of having a different birthday. While this may not actually be a rational dream, no one would turn down the birthday cake. Thus, the party would be a success.